How the way we talk can change the way we work .
Current beliefs hold that constructive feedback is both helpful and supportive and yet, countless people complain that the feedback hasn’t been acted on and nothing changes. Change is not something that we can just do. It takes considerable self-knowledge or a supportive environment. As Kegan and Lahey show, this means shifting from assuming that we are right and as such our feedback is the only way into “deconstructive communication”.
In other words, we let go of being right and we go into conversations with deep curiosity and the quest to prove our assumptions wrong. As a result, we shift from a teacher-pupil stance and into a more equal dynamic of co-creation. We are then more likely to uncover the hidden reasons for resistance and better able to encourage change in both ourselves and others.